Bad Pick Up Lines
Can I punch you in the face.. [pause] ..with my lips?
Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
I’m a writer, you’re a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
Sit on my face and let me get to ‘Nose’ you better
Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex.
Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.
I only have 12 hours to live… please don’t let me die a virgin.
Hey baby, I’ve got a back seat with your name on it.
Did you die recently? Cause girl, you look like an angel to me.
Please call 9-1-1, because you just made my heart stop!